Check For Upgrades

I was cleaning out a cabinet in my office when I came across some old software. I looked at the date and it was from 2006. Software the won't even run on any computer I own. Then it made me ask myself, "What old mental programs have I been running in my life? What ways of thinking do I still have from 14 years ago?"

In the corporate world, I had several jobs as the head of the Accounting dept. When starting with a new company I would dive into the processes and procedures in place. I would interview the staff and ask, "Why do we do this? Why do we do it this way? What is the purpose of this procedure?" An answer I would often hear was, "That is the way we have always done it". I know this is cliché, but I still have to ask myself, "What am I thinking or doing, that if examined closely, would come up with a similar answer?"

Fourteen years ago my 20 year daughter was six years old. My 26 year old daughter was 12. Their lives are much different now than they were 14 years ago and obviously being a father to 26 and 20 year old daughters is much different than being a father to 12 and 6 year old daughters.

So I started to examine, what was I thinking, (or doing because of my thinking) that was outdated? Here is one change that I have made. 

So I hate to admit this, but I have never been much of a Christmas person. I never hated Christmas, but I just never got into it.  My wife and daughters did the outside decorating because my wife knew I didn't really like doing it and it was easier for her do it herself then listen to me complain about it. 

Maybe it stems back to Christmas as a kid. Christmas was never on Christmas morning, was it on Christmas Eve, but only after midnight mass, which of course, starts at midnight. So it was about 2:00am before the Christmas present opening began. Christmas day was spent going to grandma's house. There all the kids stayed in the back room. It wasn't terrible, but let's just say for a kid, it wasn't full of Christmas cheer. It felt more like obligations and things to check off a to do list. 

This year, however, is completely different. I decided to totally get into the spirit. I told my wife that I wanted to decorate the outside of the house, the way she has always wanted it with lights all along the peaks. 

I also suggested that we decorate the huge pine in the back of the house. The girls came up with the design and executed it while I was on the roof. I didn't want them watching me. I was afraid they would have a nervous breakdown or anxiety attack.

We had a couple extra small evergreens. My wife thought we should throw them away. Then I suggested that we add them to the back yard decorations. She had the idea to use the pots from the now dead tomato plants and figured out how to put lights on them.

My wife, noticing the difference in my attitude decided to get all new stockings for the fireplace, complete with handcrafted wooden name tags. The house is beautiful and my wife and daughters are so happy.

I upgraded my attitude and my thinking about the holidays. I made the decision to lean into the spirit and go all out as opposed to just trying to get through it. We are all enjoying them so much more without Mr. Grinch (me). I am embracing the whole season with joy and fun.

If we don't take the time to examine our thinking, our programming, we may just continue using the old programs that don't run very well and do not advance our life forward.

What mental programs do you need to upgrade? Where do you need to install a new way of thinking? What decisions do you need to make about your actions and what thoughts are driving them? Just because you have always done something a certain way does not mean it is the right way. It may have been at one time in your life, but what about now? Take some time to reflect on what you should be thinking and doing differently. Maybe ask those same questions I asked the accounting department staff, "Why do we do this? Why do we do it this way? What is the purpose of this action or reaction?"

When we do take the time, we may find that even a small shift, a slight change may make a bigger difference than we can imagine.